FC: Lincoln City v Torquay United 3pm - 30th August 2014

You can tell that I don’t get to many matches; because I can’t remember the last time I went to a match and saw Torquay lose! When I went down to Torquay last season I saw one of the four matches we actually won.

On to the beer: Had a beer in the bar at the ground first and started talking to a Lincoln supporter. The topic got round to Paul Bastard and his extensive travels, and bugger me gently if they don’t have a similar one also. This guy lives in Exeter of all places, and he too goes to all of Lincolns matches home and away…Paul and this other guy could both save a fortune if they swapped clubs! After that beer decided to walk to one of the many local pubs and have a beer there. Got talking to some more Lincoln supporters and even walked back to the stadium with them, and was asked on two occasions if I wanted to sit in the ground with them! That’s what happens when you’re Mr Nice Guy I suppose! I had to refuse their kind offer though, because when Torquay score I am unable to control my emotions and do tend to shout a bawl a bit, and didn’t want to end up shouting and brawling a bit!

On to the drums: I know that drums at a football match are a Marmite issue, but I quite enjoyed them yesterday! They have about 30-40 singers (none of which as of yet have pubic hairs) and two drummers in the front row. In front of them, facing away from the game were four others (these certainly didn’t have pubic hair and I doubt whether their balls have dropped yet either) who were conducting (for want of a better word) the singers. There was no other noise from the crowd including the Torquay fans who must have thought they were back at Plainmoor! And in my opinion I would rather have a noise than listening to players shouting at each other on the pitch! To give them their due, (the drummers and singers) they kept going throughout the game, albeit with a pause after the third goal.

On to the Ref: I thought he had a decent game (Lincoln fans disagree with me) and it was a stonewall sending off for me, the player stopped the ball with both hands. The fact that Archie would have put the ball in row z had he got past the player is irrespective!

On to Hargreaves clothes: Why do all his clothes have to be so tight? He looks like some sort of sixties Teddy Boy, and what on earth was he wearing yesterday! His wife must have put all his clothes on a hot wash by mistake, and he’s not able to afford any new ones!

On to the match: The sending off totally changed this game. It was Lincolns third in three matches and it had a marked effect on the Lincoln players, particularly in the second half. It also gave our young players the realisation that they are pretty damn good (albeit playing against ten men) so let’s hope they realise that and continue with it. I won’t bore you with the match itself (some of you will be bored enough already) but go straight on to the players. Richards} absolutely brilliant, chased down every ball and was everywhere, and not afraid to stick the boot in; great goal. Archie} what a find he is! All legs and arms flying everywhere but the ball seems to stick to him like a bloody magnet. Even when we resorted to the long ball (which wasn’t that often) nine times out of ten he managed to play the ball to one of our players. He will definitely get into double figures this season. Would stick with him up front to be honest! Chappel} ran his socks off; if only there wasn’t all this kerfuffle between him and Hargreaves last season I believe we would have stayed up! Couldn’t really see the penalty but it looked like Tonge had been flattened before Downes went steaming in again (Red card/Penalty let’s even things up). All in all, every player played their part (Cruise did get skinned occasionally, but we now have that area covered…don’t we?)
In the last twenty minutes it became quite embarrassing, Torquay were stringing pass after pass together, with back-heels flying everywhere. Only downside: could the training staff at TQ1 possibly train our players in the art of kicking the ball at the rather large goal in front of them, instead of sending the majority of shots over the bloody stands…I’ve still got a stiff neck from yesterday!
So, we beat the team that were lying fifth with consummate ease, which means we’ll certainly win our next game against a team which languish in the relegation zone won’t we…nah!

That’s what’s great about following TUFC though! Great post del.......like the consummate ease bit....where did you get that from......lol......si