Post by Dave on Mar 3, 2012 17:38:50 GMT
One thing the death of my dear wife Carol taught me was that none of us know just how long we have left living on this earth. I once though rather foolish that death was just for old people after they had lived a good long and one would hope happy life.
I know very old people who seem to be going to funerals nearly every week and expected once god willing I reach their age, much the same would be happening to me as people I knew who were much the same age as me, passed away due to nothing more than old age.
I grew up knowing there was such a thing as cancer and people died from it, but back then I never knew anyone who had cancer, or was dieing from it. I so wish that was the case today but hardly a day goes by when I don’t learn about someone else I know having been told they have the big C. While treatments have come a long way, sadly far to many people are still dieing from this evil and death this way can be the very cruellest and evil unpleasant way to die.
It was only two months ago I was the best man at the wedding of my life long friend Roger and it was only a short while before that after having trouble eating ( something Roger never suffered ever in his life) he found out me might only have a year to live due to cancer.
I was so proud that day and knew that while the day was a happy one for the bride and groom, it was day when they said to each other they would be together until parted by death, It really was so very true and the only unanswered question was, just how much time they would have together as they both looked into each others eyes and said I do.
I talked with Roger on the phone a few weeks ago, the plan was for Roger and Sharon to come to Paignton in March to enjoy a day at Paignton Zoo with myself and Lyn, a place Sharon had never been too and it was a day I was so looking forward to.
On Monday night of this week Roger phoned me while I was at home. He was crying and it was clear he was very afraid and so Lyn and I went on Tuesday to Exmouth to be with him it was clear just how much he had deteriorated over the last two months.
On Friday night Sharon phoned me and told me that Roger only had a day or two left and so Lyn and I set off this morning to go and see Roger. I was not shocked to see the massive further deterioration in Roger, I had seen the very same thing happen to Carol and I knew the end was not too far away for Roger. We got there at half past nine and Roger was not able to talk or hardly move. At 10am he spoke and asked me to sit him on the edge of the bed and so I did and then he put his arms around me. I held him in my arms for a few minutes and then laid him down again and then he stopped breathing.
I felt much the same as I did when Carol died; Roger was now no longer in such terrible pain and was in a better place for him. The only anger I felt was towards cancer and that it takes those we love and care for away from us long before they were due to go.
The stories I could tell about what Roger and I got up to over our life long friendship, they are the things I will hold onto and remember with real fondness. Death will come to us all one day and I hope for you it will be due to old age and it’s a peaceful one as well. I have said before life is so short and we need to live it to the full and get everything we can out of it as our time here on earth right now is not a rehearsal.
Be happy and treat everyone as good as you can, avoid those sad disputes that end up dividing you from the people you do love and care about. Find forgiveness where ever possible, we are all human and we all make mistakes along this path we are all walking.
To you Roger I say thanks for being the true friend you were and I’m so glad and happy you were a big part of my life for all the years you were. I’m going to miss you but as I discovered when Carol died, it’s only your body that has died and you will live on forever in the hearts of all those who truly loved you.
Good bless you Roger
Dave
I know very old people who seem to be going to funerals nearly every week and expected once god willing I reach their age, much the same would be happening to me as people I knew who were much the same age as me, passed away due to nothing more than old age.
I grew up knowing there was such a thing as cancer and people died from it, but back then I never knew anyone who had cancer, or was dieing from it. I so wish that was the case today but hardly a day goes by when I don’t learn about someone else I know having been told they have the big C. While treatments have come a long way, sadly far to many people are still dieing from this evil and death this way can be the very cruellest and evil unpleasant way to die.
It was only two months ago I was the best man at the wedding of my life long friend Roger and it was only a short while before that after having trouble eating ( something Roger never suffered ever in his life) he found out me might only have a year to live due to cancer.
I was so proud that day and knew that while the day was a happy one for the bride and groom, it was day when they said to each other they would be together until parted by death, It really was so very true and the only unanswered question was, just how much time they would have together as they both looked into each others eyes and said I do.
I talked with Roger on the phone a few weeks ago, the plan was for Roger and Sharon to come to Paignton in March to enjoy a day at Paignton Zoo with myself and Lyn, a place Sharon had never been too and it was a day I was so looking forward to.
On Monday night of this week Roger phoned me while I was at home. He was crying and it was clear he was very afraid and so Lyn and I went on Tuesday to Exmouth to be with him it was clear just how much he had deteriorated over the last two months.
On Friday night Sharon phoned me and told me that Roger only had a day or two left and so Lyn and I set off this morning to go and see Roger. I was not shocked to see the massive further deterioration in Roger, I had seen the very same thing happen to Carol and I knew the end was not too far away for Roger. We got there at half past nine and Roger was not able to talk or hardly move. At 10am he spoke and asked me to sit him on the edge of the bed and so I did and then he put his arms around me. I held him in my arms for a few minutes and then laid him down again and then he stopped breathing.
I felt much the same as I did when Carol died; Roger was now no longer in such terrible pain and was in a better place for him. The only anger I felt was towards cancer and that it takes those we love and care for away from us long before they were due to go.
The stories I could tell about what Roger and I got up to over our life long friendship, they are the things I will hold onto and remember with real fondness. Death will come to us all one day and I hope for you it will be due to old age and it’s a peaceful one as well. I have said before life is so short and we need to live it to the full and get everything we can out of it as our time here on earth right now is not a rehearsal.
Be happy and treat everyone as good as you can, avoid those sad disputes that end up dividing you from the people you do love and care about. Find forgiveness where ever possible, we are all human and we all make mistakes along this path we are all walking.
To you Roger I say thanks for being the true friend you were and I’m so glad and happy you were a big part of my life for all the years you were. I’m going to miss you but as I discovered when Carol died, it’s only your body that has died and you will live on forever in the hearts of all those who truly loved you.
Good bless you Roger
Dave