Post by Dave on May 7, 2011 17:53:25 GMT
Everyone had been saying how well I was coping with the sad lose of my dear Carol and I was as I knew she wanted me too. I have found it strange how my views have changed recently on some matters and one of them that surprised me the most, was people having an urn at home with their loved ones ashes inside of it. To me in the past it somehow felt somewhat morbid and not something I thought I would have wanted to do.
I bought the most beautiful urn for Carol, if such a thing can ever be described as beautiful, the thing is it was so Carol as it’s a wooden box decorated in sea and cliff scenes with dolphins and she sure loved her dolphins. I had not even thought about collecting her ashes from the Coop and then when I came out of Kingsbridge Hire on Wednesday morning, I heard her calling me loud and clear asking why I had left her on some shelf at the coop and not collected her and brought her home.
.I got home at lunchtime and phoned the coop and went down in the van to collect them, Carol had been in my van many times and it felt just right doing the rest of my days work with Carol there with me. I got back to Toolfix and said I have Carol in the van and my boss light heartedly joked I was not allowed to carry any passengers in the van.
I was fine until I got home and opened the front door and then I was smacked so hard by the words I had said to Carol on the Friday evening the day before she went into hospital. That evening I cried and pleaded with her to let me get help as she was no longer able to manage her symptoms and the terrible pain she was in. I promised her I would bring her back home again and here I was just doing that, but not how we both wanted it to happen.
If I thought Thursday was a very bad day, Friday beat it hands down. I found myself at Ayrmer Cove again in the afternoon suffering a pain the likes I have never experienced before. I also convinced myself I could no longer live one more single day without Carol. Some five hours later the monsoon rain and thunderstorm that swept across the Southwest, brought me back to my senses. That mile long walk back up the smugglers lane to the car park where my car was parked seemed harder than any of the walks Carol and I ever did together.
Today I have received much love and cuddles from Carol’s best friend and Carols’ sister and I hope and pray I do not have such dark thoughts ever again. It has meant I have been able today to get back to working on the planned WALK FOR CAROL. Lou has done so much work already and we are now very close to bringing you all the details etc. I can tell you the walk will be taking place on the 10th July this year. As soon as we are able we will post everything up on the forum.
All the best
Dave
I bought the most beautiful urn for Carol, if such a thing can ever be described as beautiful, the thing is it was so Carol as it’s a wooden box decorated in sea and cliff scenes with dolphins and she sure loved her dolphins. I had not even thought about collecting her ashes from the Coop and then when I came out of Kingsbridge Hire on Wednesday morning, I heard her calling me loud and clear asking why I had left her on some shelf at the coop and not collected her and brought her home.
.I got home at lunchtime and phoned the coop and went down in the van to collect them, Carol had been in my van many times and it felt just right doing the rest of my days work with Carol there with me. I got back to Toolfix and said I have Carol in the van and my boss light heartedly joked I was not allowed to carry any passengers in the van.
I was fine until I got home and opened the front door and then I was smacked so hard by the words I had said to Carol on the Friday evening the day before she went into hospital. That evening I cried and pleaded with her to let me get help as she was no longer able to manage her symptoms and the terrible pain she was in. I promised her I would bring her back home again and here I was just doing that, but not how we both wanted it to happen.
If I thought Thursday was a very bad day, Friday beat it hands down. I found myself at Ayrmer Cove again in the afternoon suffering a pain the likes I have never experienced before. I also convinced myself I could no longer live one more single day without Carol. Some five hours later the monsoon rain and thunderstorm that swept across the Southwest, brought me back to my senses. That mile long walk back up the smugglers lane to the car park where my car was parked seemed harder than any of the walks Carol and I ever did together.
Today I have received much love and cuddles from Carol’s best friend and Carols’ sister and I hope and pray I do not have such dark thoughts ever again. It has meant I have been able today to get back to working on the planned WALK FOR CAROL. Lou has done so much work already and we are now very close to bringing you all the details etc. I can tell you the walk will be taking place on the 10th July this year. As soon as we are able we will post everything up on the forum.
All the best
Dave
