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Post by stuartB on Feb 24, 2011 22:50:39 GMT
I got thinking the other night when people were quoting Oscar Wilde that we could put all our favourite quotes or one liners here. they can be funny or serious, it's up to you.
Here are some of my favourites:
It's just a flesh wound - Holy Grail
It's not rat, it's hamster - Fawlty Towers
Space, the final frontier - Star Trek
having a mental block at mo but will add later
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Dave
TFF member
Posts: 13,081
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Post by Dave on Feb 24, 2011 22:56:30 GMT
The CQ's in the post
The wife doesn't understand me
Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
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Post by stuartB on Feb 24, 2011 23:02:00 GMT
The CQ's in the post The wife doesn't understand me Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list. If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. nice ones Dave, had a good laugh ;D |
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Post by stuartB on Feb 24, 2011 23:25:13 GMT
Never in the field of human conflict ...... - Winston Churchill
Never again - Mike Bateson
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Dave
TFF member
Posts: 13,081
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Post by Dave on Feb 24, 2011 23:33:55 GMT
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
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Post by stuartB on Feb 24, 2011 23:39:35 GMT
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up. The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it? Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. Davybeat is alive and well  |
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Dave
TFF member
Posts: 13,081
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Post by Dave on Feb 24, 2011 23:49:26 GMT
Davybeat is alive and well Alive maybe, well undecided. A few more before I go to bed, been a very long day indeed. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "In an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do? I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman. |
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Post by lambethgull on Feb 25, 2011 0:11:46 GMT
"Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana."
"Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon."
"The fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown."
"Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law."
"Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit."
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Dave
TFF member
Posts: 13,081
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Post by Dave on Feb 25, 2011 0:20:19 GMT
Go on then five more and then I really must try and get some sleep  Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. Some people say "If you can't beat them, join them". I say "If you can't beat them, beat them", because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice. It's not the fall that kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end. |
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Dave
TFF member
Posts: 13,081
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Post by Dave on Feb 25, 2011 21:51:19 GMT
Whoever coined the phrase "Quiet as a mouse" has never stepped on one.
A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often.
Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
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davethegull
TFF member
Posts: 1,094
Favourite Player: Dave Caldwell
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Post by davethegull on Feb 26, 2011 6:27:14 GMT
Having mixed emotions is when you watch your mother in law drive your brand new Jag over a cliff.
Every silver lining has a cloud. (I think that sums up being a Gulls Fan!)
Dyslexics of the world untie.
If I gave my heart to you, I'd have none and you'd have two.
I only told you to blow the bloody doors off!
And my favourite........"never in the field of human conflict has so much been owed by so many to so few" Winston Chuchill.
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Mr_W
TFF member
Cripes, Bully gets everywhere! Neighhhhh....
Posts: 1,016 
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Post by Mr_W on Feb 28, 2011 20:39:25 GMT
....."I've joined a wine club, its' bloody fantastic - we meet every morning at nine o'clock on a bench in the local park" (Lee Mack - Northern comedian)..........  |
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Post by escortmad79 on Mar 1, 2011 22:07:37 GMT
Ian Atkins: "f**k off & cut the grass, it's what you're paid to do!"
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wolfie
TFF member
UTW
Posts: 659
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Post by wolfie on Mar 9, 2011 11:52:04 GMT
It's 1973 almost Lunch.... I'm avin oops- Gene Hunt Life on Mars
I have a vewy good fweind called Biggus Dickus- Ceaser The life of Brian
Just when you think you know the answers I change the questions- Rowdy Roddy Piper
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