A visit to one of Devon's oldest clubs

you'd love this classic from the Pymouth Parkway website that I spotted then 'Bartie...................

"Much to the delight of our ground staff, a new pitch marker has been purchased that can lay down 4" lines. This is the width of line required for FA competitions. They have been informed however, that due to the credit crunch there is no increase in the amount of white marker they can use!"

I took advantage of the smashing weather today to head to Holsworthy, another of Devon’s longer-established clubs. The visit fitted my football travelling requirements perfectly: a club with a bit of history, reasonable facilities (including the chance to sit “on low” by the half-way line) and a town of some interest with cafes.

As a youthful urban sophisticate in cosmopolitan Torquay, I’d always regarded places like Holsworthy as the back-of-beyond. Forty years on, the town is obviously as remote as ever - forty miles from Exeter and Plymouth, sixty miles from Torbay – but now seems solidly part of Middle England. It’s got a newish Somerfield, kids who speak in that Southern English way which is sweeping the South West and plenty of eco-friendly businesses. And, for this week only, there’s the opportunity to “Party Like the Irish” at the King’s Arms.
Not being up to lunchtime Cork-style craic, I sought out Filter Through – possibly the best coffee lounge in Devon according to the staff’s fetching tee-shirts – for a large latte and a read of the local newspapers. After contemplating the complex implications of the lead story - Yoga jobs saved after wind farm is turned down – I searched the sports pages to check the contrasting fortunes of Tavvy, Tivvy, Cully, Withy, Biddy, Torry, Okey and, of course, the local boys. The Magpies, founded in 1891, are struggling in the Peninsula Premier. For such a small town that’s not too bad a place to be. Indeed this is a club which has now competed at a reasonable level for around forty years: solid and steady without hitting the heights (not unlike Tavistock).

It’s not a bad set-up: floodlights, a decent club house and a covered section with benches. The downside is that, beyond the halfway line, the facilities go downhill as does the pitch in the general direction of the cliffs near Bude. However one redeeming feature is how one section of the touchline quaintly serves as an extension of somebody’s back garden complete with outdoor furniture (which may challenge the ground graders should the club ever seek promotion). Elsewhere, for WC aficionados, there’s a moving reminder of how we used to pee behind the old Popular Side. On my arrival – adhering to the older man’s basic needs of a wee followed by a tea – I all but bumped into referee Graham Harris (Bradworthy) issuing his first yellow of the afternoon in cramped surroundings.

As for the other essentials tea was 50p and a pasty £1-10. The programme (£1) was a tidy effort with plenty of up-to-date information about the league and adverts for animal feeds and aromatherapy. It also had a cracking Writers Wordsearch with Buchan, Defoe, Dickens, Joyce, Swift, Trollope and others flying the flag for football.

The game wasn’t bad either - absorbing and played in a good spirit – with Holsworthy getting a fully-deserved 3-0 win against Cullompton on a day when other results went their way. I enjoyed it.

That'll be good, Dave. The quirky bit is the far touchline diagonally opposite the entrance. "Open" sort of sums up the place.

I like the town. It feels like it's been by-passed in more ways than one. The old railway viaduct - which you can walk across - is worth a look. This isn't the one you see from the main road but another one down Bodmin Street (which has the cafe/fish and chip shop on its corner).

If you couldn't make it to Northwich then the SW Peninsula Lge Premier Division was the place to be.

I didn't venture north to Holsworthy but instead opted to pay a visit to Waterslade Park so that I could witness Clyst Rovers go down to their sixth consecutive defeat, on this occasion it was the mighty green & blacks of St.Blazey who put them to the sword.

Not the easiest ground to find but after only one wrong turn I managed to locate it.
Programme also costing £1 it recalls the heady days of August when Rovers opened the season with a 6-2 home victory in front of a turnstile spinning crowd of 66.

But the season has not been kind to them and the last home game v Saltash saw a paltry 28 in attendance. Yesterday's sunshine plus St.Piran's Barmy Army crossing the border hoping to see an away win surely helped record a decent number of spectators. Even bigger crowds are due soon as the match programme tells of an

'Easter Ground-Hop' game with Cullompton Rangers,here on Thursday 9th April,7.45pm,and with around 250 Hoppers expected including some from Germany & Sweden!

St.Blazey started brightly and adapted to the undulating,bumpy pitch. They were often able to beat their markers with ease,the one exception being the Clyst left back who never let his opponent get by him once...mainly because he would invariably wrestle the winger to the ground rather that let this happen.

The Clyst manager contented himself with bellowing the useful advice of 'they're teaching you a lesson lads' at regular intervals to his increasingly demoralised team who by this time were one nil down. I then lost interest in the game for a short while as an unusually shapley pair of legs appeared in front of me. Consulting my match programme it was evident that the legs belonged to Referees Assistant 'Miss J Kingwell' . There was something almost seductive in the way she reached down into her sock to withdraw her pencil, next came her little notebook from her breast pocket & I naturally assumed she intended jotting down her phone number for me, but just as I tried to stop myself drooling and was about to ask her if F.A rules allowed her to join me for a half time Bovril she scampered away up the line. Within two minutes I overheard 'Torquay one nil down at Northwich' and my misery was complete.

HT Clyst Rovers 0 St.Blazey1

Unofficial half time entertainment was provided by a solitary majorette twirling her batton outside the clubhouse, & by 'Harvey' the dog who pestered everyone to throw a stick or his saliva covered tennis ball so that he could demonstrate his retrival skills..... I hope his presence was noted in the attendance figure.

For the second half St.Blazey kicked uphill towards the aeroplanes ! Clyst Rovers ground is separated by a flimsy fence from Exeter airport. Clyst started the second half as brightly as St.Blazey had started the first and promptly equalised. Clyst's left back also carried on where he'd left off..grabbing & wrestling his opponent to the ground, his second yellow resulted in Referee McCaffrey issuing a red, the delightful Miss Kingwell also reached down for her pencil as she also decided to note the dismissal.

The Cornish clearly sensing that victory gained while having a one man advantage was not so appealing , promptly got one of their men sent off to even things up at ten a side. The enjoyable contest continued before two late goals helped green & whites to a deserved away victory making it..

FT Clyst Rovers 1 St. Blazey 3

A most enjoyable afternoon was concluded..& so St.Blazey went off searching for the road back to Cornwall & the lovely Miss Kingwell went off for a shower



'They're teaching you a lesson lads'
St. Blazey (with the planes behind them) about to enter another wrestling contest with the Clyst defender.
...and no THAT ones obviously not Miss Kingwell




A bemused St.Blazey player sees his attempt to take a corner thwarted by Referee McCaffrey who has decided that the ball isn't round enough......Miss Kingwell in the far distance




St.Pirans Cross fluttering in the breeze, proclaiming another proud Cornish victory on foreign soil.



View from the 'grandstand', even the planes turn their back when it gets boring.



St.Blazey 'keeper...giving me directions to the A30



Behind the goal...planes (no trains) & automobiles.
The ground hopping Germans & Swedes will love it.



One last look up the line....with my private jet at the ready .

Thanks for your report and pictures, Joe. They brought back happy memories of my extremely short playing career!

Back in about 1990 I was playing 5-a-side in Exeter every week with a group of guys from various backgrounds and mixed footballing abilities. One of the group had extensive Western / SW League experience and was involved with Clyst Rovers at the time.

A few days before the start of the new season the manager walked out taking all the players with him! My mate was left holding the reigns with his father and with no time avaialble to assemble a decent squad he called in favours from other mates and roped most of us 5-a-siders in to the team to make up numbers.

I would be the first to admit that my footy skills were somewhat limited but I ended up involved in the first half dozen or so games of that Jewson SW League season including trips to Holsworthy (enjoyed Barton's report on his visit too), Bodmin and the long trek to Porthleven. Only played one game at Waterslade Park against Truro and haven't been back since but the from Joe's pictures it hasn't changed much in nearly 20 years!

We didn't win any games while I was involved and I don't think we even scored. I remember we lost 12-0 at St Austell before new blood eventually arrived and the club moved on.

I had not realised that Clyst Rovers were one of Devon's oldest clubs but I if so then I am glad that my very small contribution helped to keep the club alive and it has certainly had its successes since those days when I ran around like a headless chicken in their blue & white colours!

Those pictures from Clyst are magnificent and absolutely surreal with the aircraft in the background. The one of the scrapped cars is so reminiscent of Ebbsfleet!

Thanks for the "re-size" Dave, now whilst your at it I've another little problem that needs "re-sizing" and I'm sure if Ms Kingwell had been snapped in the shower it would do the trick for me................hmmn, on second thoughts best not go there!

Excellent stuff, Joe! Did the airport fire crew drive up to the fence to watch the game as they have done on some of my previous visits? Given your interest in Ms Kingwell I suggest you make more trips to Cornwall where under-dressed female physios are all the rage. You may care to start at Bickland Park, Falmouth.

Say what you like about the Devon Bowl but it was on the bumps of Waterslade Park that Leslie Thompson's Torquay career bit the dust.

It's not too different to Holsworthy to be honest and I'm sure, should Dave have time, he'll also be able to capture rusting objects in one corner of the ground. Of the two, I prefer Upcott Field because it's rurally rustic rather than end-of-the-runway harsh.

As for my earlier visit to Tavistock I see Glyn Hobbs finally got his trial. Not with Man Utd but at Plymouth Crown Court. Eight months for assault after a number of previous convictions and an ASBO banning him from certain parts of Plymouth (lucky bugger! Sorry, have we moved on?) Will the new SDL registrations secretary be receiving a form from Channings Wood shortly? If I'd been more observant at the Tavistock game recently I might have noticed the electronic tag.

Hobbs is a bustling striker - not without skill - who is capable of playing higher. Unfortunately it seems his lifestyle - and the traditional Dewdney Diet - doesn't help his cause.

As for the SW Peninsula I plan to be in the stand for Buckland v Clyst on Monday evening should anybody wish to say "hello"...