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Post by yellowmonkey on Jun 20, 2010 13:52:13 GMT
The seven dwarf's were working down the mine when it collapsed. A rescuer called down " Can anybody hear me? " A voice replies "England are gonna win the world cup!" Snow White says " Well at least Dopey's still alive!"
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Post by yellowmonkey on Jun 20, 2010 13:53:15 GMT
Policeman stops a drunk driver and asks him to take a breath test.
Driver pulls out NHS card - "This man is Asthmatic please dont take his breath!"
Policeman asks him to take a blood test.
Driver pulls out 2nd NHS card - " This man is anaemic please do not take his blood!"
Police asks him to take a urine test.
Driver pulls out a 3rd NHS card - "This man is a Torquay United supporter please dont take the piss!"
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Post by yellowmonkey on Jun 20, 2010 13:54:01 GMT
Freddie Mercury meets God, God says " Freddie, I like your style & gonna give you another life on earth. Who do you want to be?" Freddie says "I want to be Rob Green." God asks "Why's that Freddie?" Freddie replies " I'll have 10 arseholes in front of me and 50,000 pricks behind me & I cant catch bugger all!"
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Post by yellowmonkey on Jun 20, 2010 13:54:30 GMT
After years of research scientists have found out what makes women happy.
Bugger all!!!!
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Post by yellowmonkey on Jun 20, 2010 13:54:56 GMT
Man wakes wife up and asks "Would you like some coffee darling or would you prefer sex?"
"I'm not fussed " she replied "Either way they both gonna be instant"
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Post by yellowmonkey on Jun 20, 2010 13:55:43 GMT
Paddy runs into the pub and shouts to mick "Someone's stolen your car!" Mick say's "Did you see who did it?" Paddy replie's "No but i got the registration!"
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Post by yellowmonkey on Jun 20, 2010 13:56:15 GMT
i heard that a guy on death row in utah got to choose his own firng squad he chose GERRARD,LAMPARD,HESKEY and ROONEY
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Post by loyalgull on Jun 20, 2010 14:38:03 GMT
paddy and seamus are out for the night with there respective wives,they chat about swapping partners for the night and duly do it,after 3 hours of rampant sex paddy turns around and says i wonder how the girls are getting on?
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