Post by Dave on Jan 14, 2010 21:00:01 GMT
The last ten days of my life with Carol has taught me even more about this wonderful loving, caring person, who never stops to consider her own well being and health, if others need care, love and support.
For the first time ever, the nursing home where she works has had the Norwalk virus, brought in by one selfish person who knew they had it but did not stop to consider the effects it would have on very very old people. Very soon nearly all the old people had it, people who are 80 or 90 years old and many very frail.
I do not need to go into detail what the work entailed having to look after those who have the Norwalk virus, I’m not sure I would be able to do it myself, but the people who do caring work are very special and looking after the people in their care, is all that is important to them.
Soon the staff were phoning in sick, I’m sure many did catch the Norwalk virus, but others just exercised their rights not to have to work when the home had cases of Norwalk virus in it. One carer was told be her husband that if she went into work she could pack her bags My advice to her is pack your bags anyway love, you then may be able to make your own mind up on things.
After doing her own shifts and learning there were shortages on other shifts, Carol took on extra ones and not because we need the money, but only to make sure those that needed care and looking after, got it. Coming home and after getting our tea for us, falling asleep on the sofa all night, so worn out.
We did talk about her going into work, I gave my views and yes I was concerned for her health as she really can’t afford to put herself at too much risk, but it was clear there was not one thought in her mind about any risks to her, all she was thinking about was the well being of the residents.
It was expected a few would die but none have and most are now better and its down to people like Carol who worked themselves to exhaustion that they have all lived to enjoy another day
It did make me ask again the question I asked seven years ago, WHY, why did such a wonderful person have cancer, but then why should Lewis or Megan have it as well and all the other people who have got it and are doing all they can to fight it and live that bit longer.
I never found the answer seven years ago and I know I won’t find it now and as much as I would love to believe there really was a god, I can’t and only because if there was he would not let people like Carol get cancer.
I left Yeovil today with a big smile on my face, that was later to be replaced with tears I could not hold back flowing down my face. My customer in Yeovil who I did her wedding photos for, was more like her old self today. Just before Christmas she learned she had cancer and has gone through the process I witnessed Carol go through.
First the shock and horror and then the real fear and worry that you may not see your grandchildren get to big school. But that gets replaced by determination to win the battle and not let it effect your life anyone than you can help it.
Yes today we enjoyed a good bit of sexual banter as we used too and I looked at her standing there wearing her wig knowing she had lost her own hair due to the chemo and saw in her the same courage I see in Carol everyday.
A few hours later I was just leaving Weston Super Mare when I heard a BBC radio news report from a reporter inside a hospital in Halti, the screams of pain and suffering were so hard to listen too. The reporter talked with a man who had two daughters, one was already dead, the other on the hospital floor. Both legs broken and the bones just sticking out and her skull cut open from one ear to the other. His tears as he said all he wanted was to get any treatment for his daughter were to much for me to handle and I did not stop crying until I got to Bridgwater.
I just about got through the news on the TV when I got home and seeing what I did made me realize just how lucky we are here in the UK. People like Carol get such wonderful treatment, they get the chance to have hope and what is life without it.
Hope but without and guarantees are the terms of any treatment, but its there in this country for all who need it and we should never forget that and be thankful we do live here and not a country like Hilti. We take for granted the life we enjoy and only ever think about others suffering when we see it on the TV news.
But none of us know what tomorrow will bring for us and the one big lesson I have learned because of Carols cancer, is to get as much as you can from each day of your life, fill it with as much love as you can and also kindness and understanding.
Events this week have put my kindness and understanding to the strongest test and while I know because of my life with Carol, I really should have turned my back on someone, I could not do that and was still was willing to put time into getting the person on the right coarse.
Its easy to walk away, many have done that to loved ones when they learned their partner had a serious illness, but then those who do are so often just selfish and are only thinking about the effects it will have on their own life.
I fell in love with Carol for who she was, she has not changed, she is still the same person and I’m so glad I found her in my life when I did, because she has given me the happiest years I have ever known and that thought made me ask the question again,is there a god? Because someone answered my payers and brought Carol into my life at a time I did not really care if I lived or died.
For the first time ever, the nursing home where she works has had the Norwalk virus, brought in by one selfish person who knew they had it but did not stop to consider the effects it would have on very very old people. Very soon nearly all the old people had it, people who are 80 or 90 years old and many very frail.
I do not need to go into detail what the work entailed having to look after those who have the Norwalk virus, I’m not sure I would be able to do it myself, but the people who do caring work are very special and looking after the people in their care, is all that is important to them.
Soon the staff were phoning in sick, I’m sure many did catch the Norwalk virus, but others just exercised their rights not to have to work when the home had cases of Norwalk virus in it. One carer was told be her husband that if she went into work she could pack her bags My advice to her is pack your bags anyway love, you then may be able to make your own mind up on things.
After doing her own shifts and learning there were shortages on other shifts, Carol took on extra ones and not because we need the money, but only to make sure those that needed care and looking after, got it. Coming home and after getting our tea for us, falling asleep on the sofa all night, so worn out.
We did talk about her going into work, I gave my views and yes I was concerned for her health as she really can’t afford to put herself at too much risk, but it was clear there was not one thought in her mind about any risks to her, all she was thinking about was the well being of the residents.
It was expected a few would die but none have and most are now better and its down to people like Carol who worked themselves to exhaustion that they have all lived to enjoy another day
It did make me ask again the question I asked seven years ago, WHY, why did such a wonderful person have cancer, but then why should Lewis or Megan have it as well and all the other people who have got it and are doing all they can to fight it and live that bit longer.
I never found the answer seven years ago and I know I won’t find it now and as much as I would love to believe there really was a god, I can’t and only because if there was he would not let people like Carol get cancer.
I left Yeovil today with a big smile on my face, that was later to be replaced with tears I could not hold back flowing down my face. My customer in Yeovil who I did her wedding photos for, was more like her old self today. Just before Christmas she learned she had cancer and has gone through the process I witnessed Carol go through.
First the shock and horror and then the real fear and worry that you may not see your grandchildren get to big school. But that gets replaced by determination to win the battle and not let it effect your life anyone than you can help it.
Yes today we enjoyed a good bit of sexual banter as we used too and I looked at her standing there wearing her wig knowing she had lost her own hair due to the chemo and saw in her the same courage I see in Carol everyday.
A few hours later I was just leaving Weston Super Mare when I heard a BBC radio news report from a reporter inside a hospital in Halti, the screams of pain and suffering were so hard to listen too. The reporter talked with a man who had two daughters, one was already dead, the other on the hospital floor. Both legs broken and the bones just sticking out and her skull cut open from one ear to the other. His tears as he said all he wanted was to get any treatment for his daughter were to much for me to handle and I did not stop crying until I got to Bridgwater.
I just about got through the news on the TV when I got home and seeing what I did made me realize just how lucky we are here in the UK. People like Carol get such wonderful treatment, they get the chance to have hope and what is life without it.
Hope but without and guarantees are the terms of any treatment, but its there in this country for all who need it and we should never forget that and be thankful we do live here and not a country like Hilti. We take for granted the life we enjoy and only ever think about others suffering when we see it on the TV news.
But none of us know what tomorrow will bring for us and the one big lesson I have learned because of Carols cancer, is to get as much as you can from each day of your life, fill it with as much love as you can and also kindness and understanding.
Events this week have put my kindness and understanding to the strongest test and while I know because of my life with Carol, I really should have turned my back on someone, I could not do that and was still was willing to put time into getting the person on the right coarse.
Its easy to walk away, many have done that to loved ones when they learned their partner had a serious illness, but then those who do are so often just selfish and are only thinking about the effects it will have on their own life.
I fell in love with Carol for who she was, she has not changed, she is still the same person and I’m so glad I found her in my life when I did, because she has given me the happiest years I have ever known and that thought made me ask the question again,is there a god? Because someone answered my payers and brought Carol into my life at a time I did not really care if I lived or died.
