Merse Will You Be My!!!!!

Well it's the best (to be honest, the only) offer I've had all day Dave; so if by midnight there hasn't been a better one you never know!

Let me make you party to a little "bedroom secret":

Now remember my Bijou is now seven months pregnant and waddling around like a duck. When I got home from work on Friday night the bed was adorned with real silk blood red sheets, duvet cover and pillow cases, with our blue subdued lighting it looked (and felt) a treat. Fast forward to the next morning when we wake up to both the kids in our bed, pillows on the floor either side of the bed and most of the duvet at our feet...................so I go into my Victor Meldrew routine "I don't believing it" and "a fat lot of use having slippery bed linening it" like a good 'un.

What happens? when I got home later, not a sign of the romantic touch in the bedroom and in answer to my enquiries: "You don't like it, I give it to my sister; you want to lay in it now you go and lay with my sister" cue tears and sobs.

If there's anything less humoured than a woman it's a French woman, now I've done my penance, been round her sisters (and no, I didn't!) and come back with the offending linen AND a bunch of flowers, AND a box of chocolates - add to that the money I laid out for the bottle of wine for her sister and my big mouth, sick humour and general "English sense of the ridiculous" has cost me big time this weekend!