Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 19, 2017 20:27:21 GMT
Disappointingly, with the lights having turned green, the other two forums have raced into the lead with their General Election and political coverage (a big exclusive on each site), while TFF has been left on the starting line with it's wheels spinning. But it's very early days, meaning there's still ample time for TFF to gain a reputation as the 'go to' Forum for pre-eminent coverage of 'Election 2017', with that all important Left Wing slant that we all enjoy. Helping to achieve this, I've engaged the services of political theorist Leon Trustsky, who, although not a native of these shores, assures me he can bring the necessary in depth analysis to the campaign that will make TFF's coverage essential reading. Trustsky lists his favourite reading as Marx's 'Das Kapital', Lenin's pamphlet 'What Is To Be Done ?', as well as 'The Sunday Janner'. 'It was sometimes a problem to get hold of a copy of ' The Janner' back home in the Ukraine' explained Trustsky. Listing his heroes as Lenin, Castro, and Pete Masters....... Trustsky feels confident that he can give us that unique General Election coverage that the other forums will be unable to match. However, in our usual spirit of fair play, let's give credit where it's due. One Forum having a wonderful scoop this morning, as it exclusively announced that 'Screaming Lord Tust' is considering becoming a candidate in the Torbay constituency. Is Westminster ready for the Ministry of TUST ?.....it could well be up to the voters to decide. Elsewhere, and while not directly connected to British politics, a potentially even bigger story broke this afternoon, with suggestions that 'Oswald' was a typo all along, and it was actually 'Lee Harvey Osborne' who was up to no good in Dallas back in late 1963. Already with a host of crimes against sporting venues as long as your arm, do we now add the murder of JFK to the list of Osborne's misdemeanours ?  |
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chelstongull
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Post by chelstongull on Apr 19, 2017 21:26:43 GMT
Disappointingly, with the lights having turned green, the other two forums have raced into the lead with their General Election and political coverage (a big exclusive on each site), while TFF has been left on the starting line with it's wheels spinning. I must confess to being happy that this an Election free zone. For me it's football and football related issues I'm interested in. Please don't let it change...  |
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Jon
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Post by Jon on Apr 19, 2017 23:29:50 GMT
I must confess to being happy... Someone HAS hacked his account. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 20, 2017 19:12:07 GMT
In deference to Chelston's preferences, we won't overdo the politics. Well...not until our last game of the season is out of the way on 29th April....then we'll really go into overdrive . So we'll limit it to just a few items today. 1. TFF's roving Election correspondent, Leon Trustky has been out and about. We see him informing a group of voters that Adrian Sanders has ducked out of going up against Screaming Lord Tust on June 8th. Still no definite declaration from Lord Tust himself, but surely he can't let down his people when the very future of the club is at stake ?  2. Osborne Stands Down !! A National Union of Journalists spokesman said that he wasn't surprised to learn that George Osborne has decided to stand down as MP for Tatton rather than contest the election. But went on to say 'Osborne had never previously shown any interest in editing a newspaper. Most of my NUJ/TUST members are convinced his plan is to close the newspaper, and then sell off the Evening Standard building to be converted into flats, or demolished and replaced with housing'
3. Rip Rig and Panic (there's a musical reference especially for Chelston). 'It's all rigged' complains Jezza. In a clear attempt to copy Donald Trump's successful tactics across the pond, Jezza is claiming that the whole system is rigged to favour 'the elites'. Naturally, it's necessary for all the Labour Party candidates to be 'on message' with this, but some seem to be taking things to absurd lengths; none more so that Dawn Butler, MP for Brent, who comically complains that Theresa May is trying to rig democracy by calling an election ! You couldn't make it up. Only 55 seconds long if you'd like a listen, using this link: Rigging Democracy With An Election |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 21, 2017 19:56:52 GMT
 Day 3 of TFF's unrivalled General Election coverage. The contest having not got into gear yet as MP's are still sitting, and the campaign proper doesn't start for a while yet. But once it does, all pretence at impartiality will be straight out of the window, as we unashamedly give our full backing to the Monster Raving TUST Party's candidate here in Torbay. This General Election couldn't have fallen at a better time, and it's therefore imperative that Screaming Lord Tust throws his hat into the ring, and then does all he can to spread the party's message to the electorate of Torbay by means of an energetic campaign. That is, if he isn't bought off first ! He's been invited up to Plainmoor on Monday. Does that indicate that the club hope to persuade him from standing ?. Lord Tust himself is giving little away, other than saying; 'I may or may not accept the invitation. But let me assure all prospective Monster Raving TUST voters that G.I won't buy me off with a free meal......although there's been a kind offer from Tim Herbert to look after my puppy while I have a private chat with Clarke' Clearly a developing story, which we'll follow closely next week. In General Election terms, TFF has stood for ' Tim's Fish Finger', with the news that over £1500 has already been raised by crowd funding to allow a Fish Finger to challenge Lib Dem leader Tim Farron in his Westmorland constituency: Fish Finger Aims To Batter Farron On June 8th
But for now it's time to devote all our thought's to the Dover marginal constituency, and hope that the swingometer has tilted favourably in our direction by 5pm tomorrow. p.sGI calling, GI calling. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_JoyceSo it wasn't Chelston's account that was hacked after all....but someone else's.  |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 22, 2017 18:47:16 GMT
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 23, 2017 12:09:56 GMT
LORD TUST LEFT REELING BY 'HECTORY' DEFECTION !Lord Tust had only been back from Dover for less than an hour when his jubilant mood was shattered. TFF Election correspondent Leon Trustsky was first on the scene, coaxing some words from the still shocked Lord Tust. ‘It’ll take some time to sink in’ said the dejected Lord. ‘It really feels as if I’ve been stabbed in the back, and my enemies went to work capitalising on me being away in Dover supporting the team. I was convinced that Hector understood our worthy cause and was backing us...yet now I return to this...this whole ‘Hectory’ situation’. ‘I was about to ask him to be my Election Agent and Campaign Coordinator’, confessed an increasingly emotional Lord Tust….’But now, I learn the turncoat is throwing his weight behind Kevin bloody Foster….a damned Tory !!! Lord Tust, now almost shaking with rage, was asked if he thought Hector could be won round, and brought back to the Monster Raving Trust Party cause ? ‘No I doubt it, you just have to look at the papers…’Hectorys’ are springing up everywhere, May will be delighted. One in Seven they calculate….it’s frightening. I’ve since learnt that he even collaborated with Jezza in order to blacken the good name of the MRTP (Monster Raving Tust Party).  It seems that in a separate development, Hector had invited Corbyn to a local school to address pupils. ‘Corbyn’s only aim was to turn young minds against the MRTP’ stated Lord Tust emphatically. ‘He showed them our manifesto and claimed it was remarkably similar to Marx & Engels work. It’s a lie….the MRTP are a middle of the road Trotskyist Party, working hard to deliver every football club into the hands of the Guardian reading class. Yet Corbyn told those kids we were some kind of Left Wing Extremists, and that they should go home and tell their parents not to vote MRTP on June 8th’  Lord Tust did admit that it probably hadn’t been a wise decision to feature the hammer & sickle of the cover of the MRTP’s manifesto, but vowed to eventually bounce back from ‘Hectorgate’. ‘It’ll take a few days for sure’ stated the Lord with a sigh.’ I’m due up at Plainmoor tomorrow, and the way I’m feeling right now, jacking in the campaign and letting Clarke buy me a slap up meal, doesn’t seem like such a bad idea…..but myself and the MRTP will get over this and come back even stronger'
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 26, 2017 14:09:27 GMT
Back on the campaign trail, and a very important meeting for Screaming Lord Tust. 'I've enjoyed a most productive meeting with the boss of 'Genghis International' revealed Lord Tust. It's not too much of an exaggeration to say the whole of the MRTP's election campaign is based on the plans that Genghis International might or might not have for our football club. It was heartening to see that TQ1 was right, as several puppy dogs turned up to assure me of their support, just as he'd predicted recently, and they barked their encouragement at regular intervals'.  'Myself and Clarke quickly came to agreement on a number of issues' continued Lord Tust. 'Why change what's working well? I will campaign for more communication from Genghis International employees, and the moment such communication is received, my supporters will say they don't want it, don't believe it, and it's all propaganda' 'Furthermore, we also agreed that the one thing Clarke would never say, i.e that it's all a money making racket, and that he's no real intention whatsoever of building a new stadium, will remain precisely the one and only thing we demand to hear from him and the only thing we'd ever be willing to believe'. And so having concluded that 'business as usual' agreement, Lord Tust was thrilled to be shown the scale model of the new stadium. Lord Tust describes his excitement: 'Not only did I get to see the scale model, but Clarke even allowed us to have a kick around in it. As I said to Clarke at the time, I know this is only a small scale model, but it seems plenty big enough to me. I took my friend 'Little Richard' with me, as well as my faithful bird 'Councillor Parrot'..that's him perched on my shoulder. Richard said it will be a magnificent home for us that's far superior to Plainmoor, while 'Councillor Parrot' squawked 'Wembley of the Willows...Wembley of the Willows' throughout the car journey home.  |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 27, 2017 19:46:15 GMT
WHEN PUPPY DOGS ATTACK !Painful justice was meted out to Jeremy Corbyn today, as he forgot TQ1's prophetic words that an army of Puppy Dogs were backing the Monster Raving Tust Party. Recalling Corbyn's recent dirty tricks, young Bryn, a member of the MRTP Puppy Dog Army, demonstrated his loyalty to Screaming Lord Tust by means of 'direct action' against Commie Corbo. When hearing of the incident, Lord Tust commented 'Our campaign had been lacking bite up until now. But with the full backing of the Puppy Dog Army, we'll be sinking our teeth into the big issues of this election; such as the Plainmoor freehold. Look out for my full page ad in The Guardian tomorrow' 
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Rob
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Post by Rob on Apr 28, 2017 1:05:37 GMT
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 29, 2017 18:27:14 GMT
LORD TUST REFUSES TO CONDEMN TROUBLEMAKERS
 Controversy raged this evening as accusations were made suggesting that TUST militants, possibly in conjunction with members of the newly formed Puppy Dog Army, tried to invade the Plainmor pitch in an attempt to get the game abandoned. 'Not only that', states TFF election reporter Leon Trustsky, 'but there are also murmourings that the militants also set off a yellow smoke bomb, perhaps in an attempt to get the club docked points and help in their quest to associate the Osborne regime with failure'. Monster Raving Tust Party candidate for the Torbay constituency, Screaming Lord Tust, at first refused to be drawn into commenting on the aggravation, despite it being pointed out to him that a number of the most notorious TUST militants have long been known to gather on the Popside. 'Let's just wait and see, shall we ?' commented Lord Tust eventually. ' It has yet to be proved categorically that those causing trouble today were MRTP members or supporters', before he grudgingly added, 'In any case, if they were, I'm certain their actions were taken with the best interests of the club, and my election prospects, at heart'Next week don't miss: 'Meet The Voters', and we also go campaigning with Jeremy Corbyn in Hele Village.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 2, 2017 14:21:19 GMT
TFF GENERAL ELECTION SPECIAL: MEET THE VOTERSTFF's roving Election reporter, Leon Trustsky, was out and about on the streets of St.Marychurch this morning, asking members of the public about their voting intentions. First to agree to a chat with Leon, was businessman George Khan. Mr.Khan, pictured below with his dog, 'Sustainable Success', is still undecided as to who he'll cast his vote for.  Mr.Khan, pictured here with his faithful friend 'Sustainable Success'. 'Well the economy is important of course' stressed Mr.Khan, 'but there's the NHS to think about, and green issues as well'. Leon enquired whether any particular local concerns could sway Mr.Khan's final decision ? 'The well being of the local football club, possibly' answered Mr.Khan. 'The club at long last seems to have strong and stable ownership....I'd want an assurance from any candidate that they've no intention of interfering or jeopardising the club's ambitious plans'.'Screeming Lord Tust...is it possible you'll be putting your cross next to his name ?' enquired Leon. 'Most unlikely' admitted Mr.Khan. ' I have read The Monster Raving Tust Party's manifesto, and to be honest with you, it's all just a little bit too extreme for me. I think in the end, like most people, we'll vote for the candidate who'll do most to help Mr.Osborne and the strong and stable local board that he'll soon be appointing. Local people with the best interests of the club at heart, but with Mr.Osborne's expert business know-how to call upon at all times. Sadly, the TUST Militants, The Puppy Dog Army, and Lord Tust himself, seem like a coalition of chaos to me !'As Mr.Khan fed 'Sustainable' another dog biscuit, Leon thanked him for his time, and wished him a pleasant day.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 2, 2017 18:43:14 GMT
 Summer Louise Donohue, 3, eats crisps as Britain's Prime Minister Theresa May sits on a sofa behind her during a campaign visit on May 2, 2017 in Plymouth, England. The Prime Minister is campaigning in South-West England, a former Liberal Democrat stronghold, as she urges West Country voters to stick with her party ahead of the polls on June 8. |
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hector
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Post by hector on May 2, 2017 22:00:19 GMT
Good to see St Theresa of Brexit visiting the Janners, who were just back from Asdas doing the lodderies.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 3, 2017 16:20:59 GMT
Oh my goodness…another election. So let’s just have a look at the candidates shall we! In the Blue corner we have Terrible Theresa May. Terrible only in the eyes of the EU toss-pots, because she won’t bend over and take what they want to give her! In the Red corner we have Crazy Corbett. You know the man, the one who wants to scrap Trident! This is after some British General said the entire British army would be wiped out in an afternoon if the Russians decided to attack us! Then we have other candidates of various colours (not skin colours but party colours, before the usual suspects who have no life decide to descend upon me from another site) who are so insignificant they hardly rate a mention…but on saying that, I will mention them! UKIP…now without Farage, so a ship without a rudder, which means they will go round and round in British politics for a few years and then go down the plug hole. Never mind, UKIP and Farage have done their bit and will take their place proudly in British history. Lib>Dems…Clegg has left now (that’s ok because they’ve found someone equally nondescript and useless) and will also take his place in British History. Only because he’s an even bigger idiot than Corbett! Then we get to the parties that really aren’t worth mentioning.
So, only a couple of possible outcomes for me. Terrible Theresa will win and carry on with her pathetic effort to make the best of Brexit. Crazy Corbett will throw in with one of the non-mentionable parties and form the biggest f*ck-up of a coalition this world has ever seen. That’s ok though, because he’s already said he’s going to borrow 500 BILLION should he get in power, so what’s wrong with borrowing another 100 BILLION and buying our way out of the EU! I despair!
So there you have it…you pays your money and takes your choice! What a choice!
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