Well first of all
"The Road To Hell" was put on the car sound system for a very good reason...........................miles of red tail lights disappearing into the
M3 distance and
THAT ref!
The first problem was easily dealt with by getting off the motorway and back laneing it through leafy, affluent Surrey; the second ~ well
THAT official's performance will stay with us forever
As for premature pronunciations of Chris Rea's demise.....................Chas you know how me and names get on ~ it's
Robert Palmer (deceased) who is currently doing the Charlie Griffin impersonation and as for me wearing the "titfer" I just take great care not to get strong sunlight on my head these days after previous health scares and you must agree mine is a bit more stylish than Paul Bastard's effort! ;D
I don't think the steward of the Salisbury (anti) Social Club appreciated my blunt demand for a simple "yes" or "no" as to whether or not there was room for us in his minuscule little shebeen......................I'm too old and grumpy for all that fake bonhomie and embarrassed shifting from foot to foot ~ all he had to say was a straight "No" (which in a way he did eventually) and I could get on with going away and spending four ruddy quid on the
Whirley Gigs sorry, fairground wagon catering for a coffee (for me) and small portion of chips (for my kids to share) of course the reality of the situation was that had we
NOT been Torquay fans we (even TB1
) would have been welcomed with open arms in the Social Club, but that's another story.
I knew we were in for a certain amount of the fabled non league eccentricities of refereeing when I over heard
THAT ref and Benyon pre-match........................
Supercilious thingy:
"what colour are those supposed to be?"
'yellow ref'
"no they're not they're white"
'I only wear them to warm up'.....................the inordinate delay after the players appeared at the entrance to the steps leading to the pitch before
THAT ref would let 'em out, suggest a bit of "Jobsworthmanship" was then extracted on Mr Benyon before he was allowed out to play with the big boys ~ or perhaps Benners took a wrong turn and was stuck in that broom cupboard sized (anti) Social Club!
As for the performance of the Salisbury Panto....................
THAT ref: Absolutely the worst I have seen in many a year with the blowing of the whistle just as we were about to put the ball into an empty net following the collision between Salisbury's keeper and central defender absolutely criminal (can't they be as well treated at one nil down or any less than at nil, nil then?) and
THEN forgetting just where the re-start should have been from was pure comedy. The handball for the first pen was a stitch on caution ~ nothing given. The lack of a red card for the foul on Sills when he was in the midst of pulling the trigger on an empty goal an absolute scandal and the actual award of the pen instead of giving Carlisle off side (who incidentally should just have buried the bloody ball anyway) the only bit common sense over an incredibly stupid line decision all afternoon.
Observations on some players:
Robertson and Todd......................one of the shoddiest and lackadaisical performances from a central pairing I have seen in a long while.
Brough: yes, Brough......................oh dear oh dear oh dear ~ big and Jessie come to mind, I'll say no more.
Benyon and Sills: One of the best performances I have seen from these two as a pairing, but please keeps Sills well away from the penalty spot; he just can't cut it from the spot!
Carlisle and Dsane: disciplined but restricted by the obvious instruction to "tuck in" and help the midfield battle away in this "Land of Giants" that is the BSP rather than the wide open spaces of the 76 yard wide Salisbury pitch.......................and
THAT pitch: they should have taken
OUR groundsman with them to flood the bloody thing it was rock hard and slippery through the extra lush downland grass growing on it. Not conducive to a good game of football in the wide open breezy countryside that must be somewhere near a place called "Salisbury", what a Godforsaken hole in which to locate a football ground.
I do hope Mr Griffin is feeling better this morning, perhaps if they
HAD put some water on
THAT pitch he might have landed a little less damagingly and we might have witnessed a better spectacle..............................but I have seen a good deal of
THOSE type of games on Easter Mondays down the years and much better venues than the "RayMaC",
IT JUST SEEMS TO GO WITH THE TERRITORY and I guess the fans of Burton are feeling pretty much the same as us this morning.
